Friday, November 25, 2011

Marijuana sex Secrets Revealed


Everybody's wondering when pharmaceutical companies will create Viagra for women. But Viagra for women already exists: it's called marijuana. Now I'm going to give you an insider marijuana sex secret so explosive that Viagra pharmaceutical companies absolutely hope you don't know about it.  Before I let you in on this marijuana sex magic, let's clear up a misconception: if anybody tells you that one puff of marijuana is going to turn a woman into a seething cauldron of juicy sex, don't believe me? There are hundreds of strains of marijuana and each interacts with your own unique internal chemistry and personality to determine how marijuana affects you. As much as I'd like it to be true, there's no way you can be sure that smoking marijuana will make you hornier or more orgasmic.  Sure, smoking marijuana often gives you relaxation, mood elevation, and reduced inhibitions that contribute to intimacy and sexual arousal. On the other hand, the strong, connoisseur hydroponics marijuana that professional growers produce these days often stones you so intensely that it turns you inward rather than encouraging you to merge your body, heart and mind by making love. But wait marijuana can be a potent aphrodisiac, especially for women, so pay close attention to this dynamite marijuana sex secret I discovered one memorable day in a massive marijuana plantation in Northern California, surrounded by towering plants ripe with phat, gooey marijuana flowers glistening in the sun, their resin glands filled with THC.I saw containers of professional "Heavy Harvest" marijuana fertilizers and THC boosters, so I knew this sweet-smelling outdoor ganja was going to be ultra-potent! Happy hippie girls were on the marijuana gardening crew. They'd just returned from Eugene, Oregon, where they'd performed onstage at a "hemp festival," and they were frisky and frolicking.
  To my astonishment and delight, the girls stripped off their hemp clothing and rubbed their lithe bodies on buds! Sticky marijuana resins gathered on their skin and pubic hair. "This is going to get me really stoned," said one girl.  I knew raw marijuana doesn't absorb well through skin, so I asked her to explain how this marijuana plant lovemaking was going to get her high."We take the resins and put it inside of our [fill in slang word for cat]," she said. "It's a direct channel into your sexual energy circuits."I blushed. Another girl chimed in, "THC absorbs through mucous membranes, buddy, and there's nothing more absorptive than the inside of a [vagina]."They all laughed in a wicked way. I asked if they were just teasing me.  Not at all, they said, and then they filled my mind with many a haunting, sexy story about raw resin glands, bubble hash, and processed solvent hashish inserted into the vagina and anus so they experienced soaring, wildly sexual, multi-orgasmic peaks."It's nothing like eating a pot brownie, taking a bong hit, using marijuana tincture, or any other marijuana use," a girl explained. "It's a rad body high that's a surefire aphrodisiac. It starts in your crotch, warms your whole body, makes you want to have sex all day and night, and lulls you to sleep hours later. Your orgasms are timeless, constant, out of this world."She advised women to make sure to only insert pure bubble hash or other resins-only marijuana material that's totally clean, no pesticides, molds, mildews or other debris.
You can't just stick marijuana bud into a girl's vagina- it has to be hashish or a THC extract. Start with a small amount...a couple of grams. Wait a while to see how it affects her, then add some more if she's ready for it."Put the hashish on your clitoris and inside you, focusing on your G-spot. Then lay back with your legs elevated for a half an hour or more so the hashish doesn't ooze out," a hippie girl advised. "My guy says having sex with me when the resins are in there also gets him high- through his penis and when he [performs oral sex] on me!"Another sage bit of advice for women from those marijuana hippie sex goddesses: "Drink lots of fluids because you're going to get wetter than you ever have been."Obviously, I shall never forget that sexy autumn day in the marijuana plantation. Those hippie girls got sexually wild and crazy. Not with me, sad to say. But in later adventures, I discovered that their marijuana-inside-the-vagina technique is a magnificent aphrodisiac. I also called a medicinal marijuana expert and she affirmed that resin glands and extracted cannabis concentrates transfer THC into the bloodstream via the vagina, the mouth (sublingual), and the anus.  She also affirmed that vaginal and anal THC insertion effects differ from those produced by any other method of ingesting THC. And as an added bonus, she explained, preliminary medical research indicates that cannabis extracts administered through the vagina and anus have anti-bacterial and positive hormonal effects! And people wonder why I grow and love marijuana! How ironic those pharmaceutical companies spend tens of millions trying to create female Viagra using testosterone, estrogen, flibanserin and chemical compounds. And yet, now you can mail order good  natural marijuana concentrate, lovingly apply it to a girl's inner kitty-cat, and enjoy nature's very own ultimate, safe, healthful aphrodisiac.  OK, you've got the secret marijuana sex recipe...now let the Marijuana Cannabis orgasms flow!

                    

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